A Moment In Time Captured Forever

This was actually posted at my MSN space first, but it felt like the perfect first real post to this new blog.

I added some pictures to my MSN space, finally. I uploaded them from my cousin's computer. All old pictures, well mostly, and pictures of my family. I'll add more in the next few days--since I have access to her pictures.

I love pictures, especially old ones, they're a look into the past. People who aren't with us and those who are, but who have aged and changed. I love pictures of my mom as a teenager or myself as a baby, a moment captured forever in tiem, even though it's past now.

That's what pictures are. They're one moment captured forever. In a picture you'll always be sweet sixteen or just learning to walk. In pictures my dad still flashes that irresistable grin of his. That's special. I know we carries our memories with us, but I like having photos for the things we can't remember.

I'll never know my mother as a teenager, I can't remmeber my baby years, and I was only five when I lost my grandmother, but pictures help fill in what memory can't. Thanks to pictures, I have clear images in my mind of these things and I think that's entirely precious.

In the last 18 months, I've spent a lot of time looking through the pictures of my dad. So many pictures of him through so many different stages. I like the adult pictures best, but that's mainly because that's how I remember him.

A pictures is worth a thousand words and can hold a thousand memories. They really do capture a moment and a essance forever. At least, that's how I've always seen it. Pictures are a tangible piece of our past, a souveneir of people and places and times that have passed and we should hold onto it forever.

Weep Not For the Memories

I've started yet another new blog. This one has two purposes. It's a place for me to reminsince about my life and it's also a place for me to talk about my father's death.

I posted frequently about both of those topics on my other blog, but I just kind of thought they deserved their own spot. That way I can keep my other blog to a more lighter nature and keep it more about my day-to-day life.

I've lifted posts from my other blog, some I left on there, some are solely on here--depending on what I thought worked best. Honestly, that blog was also getting a little over-crowded, which let me to seperate, something I consider for the best.

This blog is for those memories, for the sad and for the bittersweet. I chose the name from a line "I Will Remember You" by Sarah McLachlan (one of my favourite songs) and I just thought it all fit together well.

Remember

Remember
By Christina Rosetti

Remember me when I am gone away.
Gone far away into the silent land,
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of the future that you planned;
Only remember me: you understand
It will be too late to counsel then, or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far that you should forget and smile,
Than that you should remember and be sad.

Football Memories

Football season started tonight.

I'm not a huge footballfan, probably never will be. However, football will always represent something special in my life. It's one more tie, one more thing that reminds me of my father.

My dad loved football the way I love hockey: with an all-consuming passion. From week 1 until the Superbowl, nothing else was permitted on our TV on Sudnays. At least not when he was home (so my mother and I loved it when he went out to watch the game elsewhere).

Many of my memories of him are tied in with football. As a child, the Monday Night Football theme meant it was time for bed. Daddy let me listen to the song and that was it.

I remember Superbowl XXV when the Giants beat the Bills. Daddy let me stay up for the whole thing and he was so happy when his Giants won. I remember just enjoying getting to stay up and spend the time with him and though, I think I fell asleep at some point, he made sure I was up for the end becuase he knew I'd hate to miss it.

Later, we'd spend Sundays on the couch, with him trying to explain the rules of football to me. I understood, but couldn't care less, but he never stopped trying. Later, as I grew more interested (football is a sport, after all), we had a routine. He'd lay on the couch and I'd sit at his feet and we'd discuss the game.

American Thanksgiving was an unofficial holiday in our house. He never worked, I never had to go to school and my mom made a roast chicken for dinner. It was one of my favourite traditions.

There came a point when I could discuss football with him and I cared enough to cheer for specific teams and to ask what the standings were. I never cared enough to keep track, but I never had to. Daddy alwyas had it all in his head.

I loved to annoy him by cheering for the other team. He did the smae to me. We had many a battle, but alwyas friendly. We loved to egg the other on, knowing it was all done in fun.

When his team was in the superbowl, I cheered as feverently as he did and vice versa. Buit if it was regular season, then all bets were off and we liked to compete.

Tonight his Raiders are playing my Patriots in the Season opener. I can almost hear the conversation we would have, the goodnatured teasing. It makes me smile, it's a little bittersweet, but most memories are. I like thinking of things we shared, even if it hurts, just a little bit.

My fahter might me gone, but he left me with many wonderful memories of things we shared and the reminders of those times will always be special. But football, perhaps most of all.

Besides, wherever Daddy is now, I know he's watching the game and grumbling 'cause as of now the Raiders are losing. He's here with me, always. I know that, sometiems I just feel it stronger than others and tonight's one of those times.