Music of His Heart
Lots of things make me think about my dad, it's just how it is. I think about him a hundred times a day, at least. But the biggest trigger is music.
So many songs have so many different memories attached. I hear them and I flash back to some moment, some conversation, some special occasion. Music brings it all back, because music was such a huge part of him. He loved it, couldn't bear the silence anymore than i can, and he just got so much pleasure, found some part of himself in it.
Carry on My Wayward Son by Kansas and Behind Blue Eyes by The Who, had special significance to him because he saw himself in the lyrics. Ruby Tuesday was his song for me. Love Her Madly was and his my mother's song.
He loved other songs and so many have special meaning. He used to go around singing It's Only Rock and Roll and when I was young, he'd constantly sing the lyrics of You Can't Always Get What You Want to me as some sort of parenting lesson.
He woudl constantly challenge me to idenitfy the song whenever we listend to the radio. He bought me classic rock CDs, as well as the CDs I wanted, to broaden my horizons. He was at his happiest, sitting in our living room or his basement, just listening to music and chilling with his friends.
So, it seems natural that it musics that makes me think of him the most. Music that makes me miss even more. And music that I turn to in the moments when the grief and the pain threaten to overwhelm me.
It's strange, as much pain as it causes me to hear the music that I once shared with my father, it also comforts me. When I'm at my lowest ebb and I listen to those familiar songs, it almost feels like he's there--or at least I can sense him better than I can other times.
Music was a big part of our bond. He gave me my life for it, everything I know, I learnt at my father's knee. SO many memories, so many special moments that music brings back and sometimes, I just need that connection. It's not the same, it could never be the same, but it's something.
So, I'll turn on the old familiar songs and take comfort in the memories of a time when I shared them with my father and the knowledge that somwhere he's hearing the same songs I am and sharing them with me once more, I just can't see him.
So many songs have so many different memories attached. I hear them and I flash back to some moment, some conversation, some special occasion. Music brings it all back, because music was such a huge part of him. He loved it, couldn't bear the silence anymore than i can, and he just got so much pleasure, found some part of himself in it.
Carry on My Wayward Son by Kansas and Behind Blue Eyes by The Who, had special significance to him because he saw himself in the lyrics. Ruby Tuesday was his song for me. Love Her Madly was and his my mother's song.
He loved other songs and so many have special meaning. He used to go around singing It's Only Rock and Roll and when I was young, he'd constantly sing the lyrics of You Can't Always Get What You Want to me as some sort of parenting lesson.
He woudl constantly challenge me to idenitfy the song whenever we listend to the radio. He bought me classic rock CDs, as well as the CDs I wanted, to broaden my horizons. He was at his happiest, sitting in our living room or his basement, just listening to music and chilling with his friends.
So, it seems natural that it musics that makes me think of him the most. Music that makes me miss even more. And music that I turn to in the moments when the grief and the pain threaten to overwhelm me.
It's strange, as much pain as it causes me to hear the music that I once shared with my father, it also comforts me. When I'm at my lowest ebb and I listen to those familiar songs, it almost feels like he's there--or at least I can sense him better than I can other times.
Music was a big part of our bond. He gave me my life for it, everything I know, I learnt at my father's knee. SO many memories, so many special moments that music brings back and sometimes, I just need that connection. It's not the same, it could never be the same, but it's something.
So, I'll turn on the old familiar songs and take comfort in the memories of a time when I shared them with my father and the knowledge that somwhere he's hearing the same songs I am and sharing them with me once more, I just can't see him.
posted by Michelle @ 6:33 PM
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