Unspoken Conversations

When my father died, one of the things that bothered me the most was the idea that I'd never talk to him again. I couldn't imagine never hearing his opinions or even arguing, when I didn't agree with them (which was frequent).

Eighteen months later, I still miss that. I still miss discussing what's going on in the world, hearing his take. But one thing I've noticed is that, though I can't actually tlak to him, sometimes I can hear in my head what he might have said if he were still here.

I lived with him for 20 years after all, I got to know his opinions pretty well and sometimes I just know what he would have said. This week, especailly that's been happening a lot.

When I was at the Hockey Hall of Fame, I could imagine talking to him and him asking me about the "Four F's" dressing room. Also bugging me to know what I brought him, becasue heaven forbid I go to Toronto and not buy him something.

Then, today when I heard that Eric LIndros had finally become a Leaf, I could almost hear my father in my head. Of course, that might be becasue we talked about the subject a few times in the past, whenerver it was speculated that Lindros might finally come to Toronto.

My father was not a fan of the idea. He wasn't a Lindros fan, even though my mother were and still are. Daddy thought Eric Lindros was highly over-rated and the argument could go on for sometime.

Today, i heard that arguemnet in my head as strongly as if it had actually happened. that felt good, like a part of me is still connected to my father even though he's gone. I need that.