Thirty Years Ago Today

December 7th, 1974, thirty years ago today, a day that changed my personal destiny.

After all, if that day hadn't happened, I wouldn't be here. For thirty years ago today a seventeen year-old girl by the name of Wanda was introduced to an eighteen year-old guy named Rick and the rest is history. After all, that girl and that boy fell in love, they got married six years after they met and three years after that they had a little girl. Me.

I often think about what my parents must have been like on that day so long ago. My beautiful, wild child mother and my slightly nerdy, yet rebellish father. I've heard the stories, seen the pictures, but a part of me wishes I could have known them back then. When it was all new.

I know that he always swore it was love at first sight. That the first time he saw her smile, he knew he'd love forever. That she always said that it was persistance that won her heart. I know they started dating the day they met and that they broke up several times over the next six years. But the best things in life are never easy. I know that they fought like crazy, but loved each other deeply for almost thirty years. That that love lasted until death do us part and beyond.

I miss my dad so much today. Well, I miss him always, but... My parents always made a big deal of this day, of their first anniversary. If he were alive, we would have celebrated tonight, instead my mom and I just sat home and missed him. It was harder on her than me--I'm sure the memories were really strong.

I grew up expecting to be as lucky as they were. They found the person they were meant to be with at such a young age. I always assumed I would too. I mean, they found it, why wouldn't I?

It was many years later when I realized that it doesn't work that way. Around the same time I realized that I wasn't sure that I wanted what my parents had. They loved each other so deeply, maybe too deeply. They hated each other at times, it was always intense--never a dull moment. Of course, with my parents, everything was always like that, no middle ground. It was alwyas the highest highs or the lowest lows, nothing in between between. I'm not sure I want to live my life like that.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I loved them both. They were wonderful parents. They loved me dearly and I loved them, but I think I'm different type of person. As much as I might create chaos, I'm not a big fan of it. Nor do I like confrontation or drama--my parents had a lot of both in their life. I just don't think I could handle the intensity.

It was never easy, what my parents had. But it was obviously rewarding. They had hard times, yes, but at the same time they had a lot of happy times. They were in so love. It doesn't happen every day. Sometimes I wish I had that--other times I'm glad I don't. You know how it is.

I just find myself thinking a lot about all that today. About my parents and the years they spent together. Good years, I'm sure. Maybe that's why my mom's been so sad since Daddy died because the more joy you had, the more pain you feel. Still, I don't think she'd give it up for a moment--not even to stop the pain she feels now.

Thirty years ago, I wonder if either of them even had a clue what the next thirty years would bring? Probably not. After all, it's not like you get a memo saying you've just met your destiny. Still, I wonder what they would have thought on that day so long ago, if only they could have known...